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$21,000
Dog Days It's Sunday morning, I just drove back from Salem. I'm attending to my own version of a religious ceremony, listening to Celtic music on Leslie Hildreth's Mist Covered Mountain. The last two days have been grueling. We worked day and evening sessions with committee meetings both nights as we struggled to the finish line. So why the hell ain't I in Salem today finishing up? Inquiring minds want to know. Peter Courtney, the Senate president, was pushing hard for our sine die dénouement. The House had concurred on the Human Resource budget, without changing the Senate version; and the House and Senate agreed on the last major pieces of the revenue package. We still have to vote on a PERS successor plan and a few other substantive bills that have been held hostage during the session, but we could do that in a few hours. Higher education and K-12 were the only two major budgets left; the train had left the station. Then everything derailed last night in a fascinating Senate procedural fight. At this time of session, bills move rapidly, and unanimous consent is required to suspend the rules to hear these bills quickly. One of our throwback customs, dating back to horse and buggy days, is that each bill gets three readings over three days. If we don't suspend the rules, we can't hear bills as they immediately move out of our committees or as they come over from the House.
The Republicans got their panties in a bunch and threw a hissy-fit because Courtney refused to immediately sign the revenue package and get it right over to the governor's desk for his signature. The R's insist on this happening before they will be willing to suspend the rules for immediate action. Why? Because if we are still in session then the governor has to sign the bill within five days. But, if he receives the bill after the session, he has 30 days to take action. And, if he takes that long, it shortens the amount of time that right-wing groups have to gather signatures to put the revenue measure, especially the progressive income tax piece of it, on the ballot next February. Those rascally Republicans, the revenue measure is not even out of the Capitol yet, and they're already counting the days to get signatures to overturn it. Well, at least they didn't refer it straight to the ballot, as they did with Measure 27. So that's why I'm home instead of getting done in Salem today. Hell, I might even still be up there when you read this on Thursday! Those rascally Republicans, those cold-blooded, austere, hard-hearted, mean-spirited, cheap, penurious, parsimonious paragons of fiscal responsibility, efficiency, godliness and small gub'ment, are wasting $21,000 a session day because of this little snit — but, what the hell, it's only Aug. 24. The next state revenue forecast comes out this week — we've never been in session for a September revenue forecast before — not in the last 144 years — let's hang around. We may have to start another series of budget cuts and borrowing anyway. And they say we're citizen-legislators, amateurs. Ha! Speaking of penurious parsimony, I just read Rep. Dennis Richardson's suggestions for the PERS successor plan. This is the evangelist/trial lawyer who beat a moderate incumbent Republican, Cheryl Walker, in a primary last year in southern Oregon because she had the audacity, the gall, she had the balls, I mean she had the eggs, to vote against a bad anti-choice parental notification bill last session. This is also the guy who wanted to stick all future teachers, police, firefighters, all local and state government workers, into a cheapskate defined contribution plan. It seems Dennis is a little persnickety about the name of the plan: "The name proposed for the successor plan is totally partisan and must change." He doesn't want to call it the Oregon Retirement Plan (ORP), because Republicans have already voted down ORP three times. He likes the "Oregon Defined Employee Retirement Plan" which he refers to as ORDER. As acronyms go, it sounds like ODERP to me. Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of "defined employees"; it sure beats the alternative. Dennis reasons that the successor plan "could then be publicized as a bi-partisan plan for all future state employees, designed to: Bring ORDER out of PERS." And people say trial lawyers aren't creative. My counterproposal was the Bargaining Unit Retirement Plan, or the Fair Alternative Retirement Transition? Sen. Tony Corcoran of Cottage Grove represents portions of Lane and Douglas counties in Senate District 4, which includes the UO area. He can be reached at sen.tonycorcoran@state.or.us
How
the Grinch Stole Labor Day All the workers in Oregon loved Labor Day a lot But
the Grinch, who lived just north of Salem, The Grinch hated unions! He hated Labor Day! Now please don't ask why. No one really can say. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. It could be perhaps that his shoes were too tight. But I think that the reason for most of his hate Was his campaign for governor in 1998 When the Grinch's backside was left black and blue By unions like OEA and OPEU.
Whatever the reason, his shoes or his pride, The unions made the Grinch feel angry inside. Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy smirk At the union employees returning from work, He growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming, "I must find a way to stop Labor Day from coming!" He shuddered to think of the Labor Day cheer, With hot dogs and burgers and cheap domestic beer.
Then the Grinch got an idea. An awful idea! The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea! "We'll see if those workers will still celebrate When I propose Measures 92 and 98." He climbed down their chimneys while they lay a-snooze And then he slunk off with their union dues. He took all the dues on his sled to Mt. Crumpit And rushed to the top, getting ready to dump it, When off in the distance he heard a faint noise – He hoped it was crying by worker girls and boys. The Grinch longed to hear their sobs and boo-hoos When they learned he'd taken away all their dues. But this wasn't a sound of a sorrowful sort. It seemed more like cheers coming out of a court. The reason the workers were joyously cheering Was a $2 million verdict for civil racketeering.
What happened then? Well, in Oregon they say, That the Grinch's legal trouble grew three sizes that day. In August 2003, the Grinch was served With a personal lawsuit he richly deserved. The Grinch could not stop Labor Day! It came! The workers were carrying on just the same. On Monday they celebrated instead of working While the Grinch in his cave was sullenly lurking, Holding his hands over both of his ears, And he … HE HIMSELF! … drank cheap domestic beers. Tom Lininger is a UO law professor and former county commissioner.
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