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Living
Out : Stolen Identity: Thieves get more than
a few blank checks.
Viewpoint
: Big Fat Juicy: Marketing draws on primitave
neuro-associations.
Letters:
EW readers sound off.
Stolen
Identity
Thieves
get more than a few blank checks.
I stood barefoot on the concrete locker room floor.
Dripping wet from the shower, I gawked into the metal cubby where
my stuff used to be. While I was out sweatin' to the oldies somebody
had helped themselves to my watch, wedding ring and checkbook. That's
how I learned why the tiny box where you stash your worldly goods
while you exercise is called a "locker."
Sure, it's a hassle to have to rummage around for
a quarter when you're trying not to be late for your workout. You
have other things on your mind when you're changing out of your street
clothes, like do people really keep their eyes to themselves
when you're bending over. Not to mention how going around with a big
honking locker key dangling from your skimpy-yet-expensive athletic
wear looks totally dorky.
But an unlocked locker can be opened by anyone willing
to brave the effects of poor ventilation on sweaty shoes and steamy
underwear. And you don't just get ripped off. You become — according
to law enforcement and the three big credit bureaus — a "Victim
of Identity Theft."
Gauging from the stolen checks that have come through
my account so far, the identity thieves have really enjoyed being
me. They're having a lot more fun than say, stalling a whole line
of grocery shoppers while my debit card won't go through because all
that remains of the $450 in my account yesterday is now ZERO. The
new me has been on a spree while the old me has been stuck at my bank
for hours signing affidavits and swearing I didn't forge my own checks.
The old me has had to talk to police officers and fill out reports
and act like a grown up the whole time, which is clearly not what
the people who are out there spending my money are doing. They've
been splurging all over town and buying clothes at a teeny bopper
shop where the only things that would come close to fitting me are
the hair scrunchies. Even those are too tight.
What the identity thieves don't know is just whose
identity they've stolen. Mine! Let's see how they like being a big,
fat, outspoken dyke in a homophobic world. The cost of bumper stickers
alone will burst their bubble. And how will their nerves hold up when
TV reporters start calling them for a comment every time some queer
issue hits the news? Aren't they going to get just a teensy bit tired
of explaining why same-sex couples should be allowed to get married?
And wait 'til they find out how boring they are at parties, ranting
on about justice and equality while everyone else is oohing and ahhing
over the barbecue sauce. Ha!
Now that they have my identity they'll have to confront
sexist stereotypes and body image issues left and right. Their friends
are going to get pretty sick of constantly being reminded to love
themselves just the way they are.
Sure, the check theft bites. And I loved my watch
with the cool glow light and all the little buttons I finally figured
out how to work. But after the rigmarole Sweetie and I went through
to create a marriage before that particular civil right is won, losing
my wedding band is the toughest part. The empty indentation around
my ring finger is still waiting — hope against hope —
for my ring to return.
I've learned my lesson. Now I always carry quarters
and lock up my stuff. I wear that gigundus locker key like anti-vampire
garlic. And when I feel sad about my ring, I'm comforted to know that
somewhere out there somebody else is carrying on in my name. Another
voice speaking out against bigotry and helping match-make for my friends.
And now that they're me, people will expect them to
be funny all the time. Good luck living up to that!
Sally
Sheklow has been a part of the Eugene community since 1972 and is a
member of the WYMPROV! comedy troupe. Her column, which began at EW,
also runs in several other newspapers and magazines around the country.
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Big
Fat Juicy
Marketing
draws on primitive neuro-associations.
"A big fat juicy cheeseburger in a land of tofu."
So reads the message on a recent billboard
that looms over 7th Avenue in downtown Eugene. There you'll see a
shiny red sport utility vehicle, photographed from below, as though
you've just been run over by it. It's the SUV bully that has you pinned
until you surrender, gasping, "I give." Ostensibly, it aims to sell
this particular vehicle to the passersby. But more so, it attempts
to sell the belief that big, resource demanding, and domination is
good and that lower impact is weak, and therefore bad.
I rode past this enormous billboard a few weeks ago
and have been nursing a low-grade annoyance ever since. It's a disagreeable
marketing approach, I've decided, to use sensory images of meat to
sell a car; playing on primitive smell and taste memories lodged deep
in our reptilian brain, in the region next to the brain's reproductive
drive and simple thirst centers. These brain regions have infrequent,
if any, conversations with reason and thereby make excellent targets
of marketing. I imagine the thousands of commuters who pass this billboard
each day, in their work-a-day stupor, hungry for something comforting
or meaningful or — now that there is this cheeseburger notion
before their eyes — maybe just a cheeseburger.
Your mouth begins to water as you conjure up memories
of past cheeseburgers;
warm aromas, sizzling snaps and gooey cheese
melting its way into the flesh of an animal that you want to eat because,
after all, you're hungry. But instead you're driving down the road
in a car and one that is inferior to the vehicle depicted in the ad.
Suddenly you're angry. Not only do you lack a cheeseburger, but you're
still in west 7th traffic and now there is this guy poking along in
your turn lane in a rusty ol' VW van. You can't quite articulate why
it being a VW van makes this infraction upon your precious commute
time so egregious, but there you have it — a longhaired scruff
smiling and bobbing his bearded face to some unheard tune you can
only imagine is inspired by so much free love.
Almost consciously now, you think, "God, I wish I
had a powerful SUV and I'd just smoke that clown." You don't fully
realize it but the distaste for the whimpish van and plant foods are
practically one in the same. Finally you pass the happy hippie and
see his laughing, beautiful girlfriend feeding him an enormous sandwich,
laden with leafy lettuces and plump red fruits on a bread so whole
and grainy it looks like it belongs in a feed store. The van sputters
along and you're convinced it, too, is fueled with soy. You leave
it behind as you zoom toward the suburbs and away from downtown.
I wax toward hyperbole over how the billboard is
subconsciously perceived by passing motorists.
Mostly, however, my spirit sinks as I witness a marketing strategy
based on the false notion that big, powerful and dominating is good
while small and lower impact consumption is feeble. Never mind that
it takes more than 10 times the fossil fuel and other raw materials
to make that pound of beef than to grow a vegetable, grain or legume.
Or that risks for heart disease and cancer, the two leading causes
of death in the U.S., skyrocket with meat-based diets. Or that the
basic maintenance of intact soil, clean water and air is far more
possible with plant-based diets and human-powered transportation.
Our collective stay on this planet is clearly more sustainable when
we see through the façade of the message that promises satiety
and superiority with the big juicy.
But the truth is that we all consume, whether it's
cheeseburger or tofu, new SUV, old VW or
commuter bike. We are not plants and, as we learned in high school
biology, if you're not a producer (plant) or decomposer (fungus),
you're a consumer. The idea, as far as I can tell, is to do so with
as little impact as our comfort and conscience will tolerate and yet
still live with some grace.
Annie
Dochnahl has lived in Eugene since 1983. She owns a bicycle and a VW
van, eats tofu and dreams of feed-store sandwiches.
FOULING
THEIR NESTS
OK, I'm biased — I'm a Queen.
But for crying in a bucket — the Ducks play how many games?
And Eugene holds how many parades? Really, who can be more flexible
here? Someone might want to remind the UO Athletic Department that
their football season is short — they might like to have friendly
neighbors the rest of the year! Not only have they priced tickets
out of the reach of many Eugene residents, they also shoved WISTEC
aside, and now the players are scalping tickets to their own benefit.
When is Eugene going to stand up to the 800-pound waterfowl and say
HEY! WE LIVE HERE TOO! They are fouling their own nests.
Starting the parade at 8 am will have a significant
impact on it — 9 is already pretty darn early for a parade.
Parade participants usually have a hard time getting it together that
early, but now they'll have to assemble as early as 6:30 am. Also,
NO ONE I know is interested in being downtown at 8 in the morning
to see a parade. They all say they'll see pictures in the paper Sunday.
(Yeah, right, the R-G coverage of the parade has never been
that extensive).
If the UO wanted to quash the Celebration, this is
a real heavy body blow. I think the UO should be gracious about it
and move gametime. Think of how good it would look to the community
if they came out and said, "This will clearly be a hardship for the
Celebration, and we would never want to hurt the community in any
way." They would look like the benevolent despots that they are, with
emphasis on benevolent.
Queen Carmen Slugana
SLUG Queen 1999
WORKING
TO LIVE
I strongly support the living wage proposal
that will be before the Eugene City Council Aug. 14. More than 80
cities and counties around the country have a living wage law in place,
and these standards have proved effective in reducing poverty in the
communities where they have passed. According to a recent OSU poverty
study, up to 70 percent of Oregonians living in poverty are "working
poor" — people who work full-time but whose wages are so low
they are below the poverty line. In Lane County, eight of the 10 jobs
expected to grow the most in the next 10 years do not provide a living
wage. Unless we begin to set standards now, we will watch the health
of our community continue to plummet.
The living wage proposal is affordable for the city
of Eugene. Ensuring that our public dollars are not being used to
pay poverty-level work should be a priority for our elected leaders.
Other cities that have passed living wage laws have seen minimal cost
increases, no increases in the prices of city contracts and no loss
in employment. Working families who are able to make ends meet do
not need to rely on public subsidies to support themselves, and public
coffers would gain from the increased tax revenues of self-sufficient
working people.
The proposed Eugene living wage sets a level of $11.42/hour
if the employer provides health insurance and $14.28 if the employer
does not do so. This matches the level required for a one-adult, one-child
family to meet their basic needs in the Eugene-Springfield area. It
would cover three groups of people: employees of the city (including
temporary and part-time workers), employees of businesses that have
service contracts with the city equaling more than $10,000 and employees
of businesses that receive more than $25,000 in financial assistance.
As a member of the United Methodist Church for 81
years, I believe that this proposal is important and will provide
help in creating a more just and sustainable community.
Portia Foster
Eugene
PEE
NONSENSE
Recently, the bargaining unit members of
American Federation of Government Employees Local 1911 (Eugene District
BLM) were informed that all "militia" (not full-time) wildland fire
fighters would submit to random drug testing. Furthermore, this fiat
was not a "change in working conditions," and therefore the implementation
would not be bargained with Local 1911.
We had successfully defeated this nonsense 15 years
ago with an injunction by Judge Greene stating that drug testing would
be permitted for probable cause only. Apparently the new administration
had forgotten this and assumed that we would just fill bottles because
June was National Drug Hysteria Month.
Our wildland fire fighters are already searched luggage
and person EVERY time they get on a commercial airplane to travel
to a fire. By all means, let's harass them even more so they will
cease to fight fire. They are volunteers.
Interestingly enough, while the powers above feel
it is OK to humiliate rank and file fire fighters with random drug
testing, no provision was made to force the high level fire management
in charge of the grunts to fill bottles. I'm sure this is a simple
oversight on somebody's part.
AFGE Local 1911 has led the way in resisting this
totalitarian enactment from Big Brother among the BLM districts in
Oregon. Although it ain't over, the powers above have discovered that
"Because We Say So" doesn't necessarily cut any ice around here. Remember,
just say NO to drug testing.
Norm Maxwell
Steward, Local 1911
UNDER
GOD
I read an editorial that defended the words
"under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. The argument was that the
words "under God" needed to stay in the pledge because our country
was founded on Christian beliefs. I disagree; our founders built this
country committing tragic genocide to the Native American Indians
using the words "under God."
Historically, Christians using the pretense "under
God" went to war against the Muslims starting in the 11th century,
attacked the Pagans starting in the 13th century, murdered thousands
of people during the Inquisitions and supported slavery.
In today's world, religion has been involved in our
deadliest conflicts. Hindus, Muslims, Jews, and Christians have all
died defending their personal brand of dogma. How many people globally
are victimized or severely oppressed because of race, gender, sexual
orientation or spiritual practice in intolerant societies using the
words "under God?"
In America, the Christian religion is mixed up with
politics. It is a unique match as they both gain public support using
the fear factor. The marriage of religion and politics produces spiritually
compromised offspring that blindly follow the lead of their parents
without questioning the consequences of their actions.
I am in favor of keeping the words "under God" out
of the Pledge of Allegiance until the time comes that as a nation
we can have the maturity to see the similarities in all faiths and
use it as a unifying tool to bring people together without judgment.
Steve Brown
Eugene
TAX
THIS
Eugene's proposal to tax everybody to pay
for street repairs has to be stopped. They claim "the money is there"
for the Parkway, but they can't fix potholes. So, where are they hiding
the Parkway money and why can't they spend it to fix the streets?
Show me.
Also, it's a very unfair proposal: Most of the tax
will be tacked onto utility bills, the same for each household, not
proportional to driving or income. This makes it regressive.
A utility tax means people from Veneta, who drive
all over our streets and constantly whine about them, get off without
any tax whatsoever, while people who live here will have to pay so
the people from Veneta can continue to assault us with their whining
and their loud, unmuffled, stinking trucks and SUVs.
The household part would tax people several times
more than the gas tax part, and it would tax cyclists and old people
with canes for potholes made by motor vehicles.
It's trucks, especially gravel trucks, that make the
potholes, so let them pay. I can prove it — the potholes on
North Polk are all in front of the driveway of what used to be a factory
and still has many trucks pulling in and out. Look for the potholes
in your neighborhood. I bet they're all made by trucks.
If "the money is there," then they can fix the damned
streets. They don't need more money. Just say no.
Ann Tattersall
Eugene
GROSS
PLOY
When I first read your "Treadmarks" column
by Jim Motavalli, I must admit I was horrified and disgusted. It struck
me as a gross ploy to enhance your car dealer ad revenue, as a way
to appeal to the dread yuppie element of our fair city.
As the weeks have progressed, though, I have realized
the subtle, crafty, and yes, subversive, nature of the column. I'm
referring, of course, to the dialectical joke you are playing on the
auto industry. Like Marx, you realize that action leads to reaction;
who can read Treadmarks and not wish to throw a brick at a $300,000
Mercedes? Why, I would bet that there's a legion of everyday people
who, inspired by Treadmarks, are now considering taking out a few
SUVs down at Joe Romania's.
The synthesis of Treadmarks and reader disgust: beautiful
destruction. Bravo!
Craig Beneville
Eugene
ADS
CAUSE HARM
OK, this is it. I am boycotting Eugene
Weekly. For awhile now I have been watching the increase in sexually
explicit advertisements. First when I read the paper and my young
child was nearby, I would read it without letting her see the back
page.
It's not the content of the ads that bothered me as
much as the images. There is no need and some harm in growing up with
depictions of explicit sexualized behavior. I'd rather that her experiences
with sex come from her own life and not from some weird posturing
of sex for sale. There's lots of research on the effects on sexual
experiences of early exposure to such images.
So I hid the back page and read the rest. Then I began
to see the addition of an advertisement for Diva's, a strip joint
— definitely not an image for a girl to grow up with as a representation
of her sexuality. My reading was getting more difficult since this
shows up in the middle of the paper and I don't know when it will
appear.
Now we have an even more ridiculous photograph in
the ad for Club 1444 and it just makes me want to get rid of the paper.
I don't really want this in my house and I don't want to support EW
any longer.
I am not only concerned for my young child, but I
am also offended and saddened that a paper with a progressive reputation
is marketing such depictions of women. Offended, personally and saddened
by the apparent state of culture in Eugene that allows an intelligent
news source to stoop to such low standards.
I will give up the good articles, the movie reviews,
What's Happening and the entertaining personals. It's on to the R-G.
Bonnie Robbins
Eugene
BUY
LOCAL
Eugene is unique in that it sustains a very
high number of locally owned and family-run businesses. In this context,
nationwide chain stores, such as Safeway and Wal-Mart represent a
very real threat to the viability of such locally owned businesses
and local economies.
The newly opened Safeway at 18th and Willamette now
contains a pharmacy and outlet for Hallmark cards. Both of these have
the potential of damaging the business of Hiron's Drug Store immediately
next door because much of Hiron's business is derived from the filling
of drug prescriptions and they carry a wide selection of cards.
The Safeway chain is a huge corporation with 2,220
stores in all; Hiron's has two.
The income from stores such as Safeway and Wal-Mart
is not spent and circulated within local communities; funds are sent
to out-of-state corporate headquarters within 24 hours thus depriving
local economies of millions of dollars. The income from locally owned
businesses stays within the community and directly benefits local
economies in numerous ways.
An article in The New York Times reported
that one of the owners of Safeway is an incredibly wealthy individual
residing in New York; this individual donates millions of dollars
to New York institutions, such as art museums and the opera. This
largesse is made possible by the income generated by the business
of Safeway. This, of course, is wonderful for the community of New
York, but does absolutely nothing for the community of Eugene.
Eugene is unique. Let's keep it that way by supporting
local businesses.
Pauline Hutson
Eugene
CAN'T
WE GET ALONG?
As a former department chair of criminal
justice, I would like to respond to Alan Pittman's apparent confusion
and misunderstanding of what community policing is ("Fuzzy Cop Vision,"
8/1). Community policing is a combination effort that includes a component
of traditional police work. In the best of all worlds, it would be
great if we could all hold hands and be friends as Pittman suggests,
but solving a community's ills and reducing crime must take on a multi-pronged
approach, which includes rapid deployment and arrest.
Community policing, despite winning over the hearts
and minds of both academic practitioners, rarely is defined the same
in any community. A common definition, according to authors Walker
and Schmallenger, states that community policing is a philosophy based
on forging relationships between the police and the community so they
can work together to solve crimes and disorder and enhance the quality
of life in a community. The Eugene police department does all of the
above mentioned, plus more.
In Eugene, we have had school officers since 1985.
We have substations, sector officers, cops on bikes, a number of officers
who attend and work with community groups and a police commission.
There are innumerable ways to file a complaint and scrutinize our
police, and citizens have input on use of force, options at mediation
and a department that has an open door and someone always ready to
politely listen at any time of day. The community philosophy is pervasive
throughout this department as they work on strategic plans that incorporate
line officers' input as well as community input to set long term goals
and objectives for the department to work toward.
Mr. Pittman criticized Chief Buchanan's roots when
he should applaud the fact that this department is strategically sound.
The Eugene department can respond to critical incidents and move forward
a policing philosophy that empowers and incorporates the community
at the same time.
Really, the struggle of community policing isn't with
our police department; it seems to be in Pittman's mind. The dust
Pittman speaks about in the offices of some city officials seems to
be in the archives of his own mind. Pittman, as a writer for an arts,
music and entertainment weekly, should stick to what he is paid for:
the entertainment arenas of the city. Pittman's beating on his old
police drum is neither entertaining nor informative, but reflects
a man who just refuses to move on — a man who tries to create
"causes" where there are none. Pittman is somewhat a mirrored image
of the now deceased Abbie Hoffman: both men living out the '60s when
the '60s have long ago died.
Jackie Turtle
Eugene
CORRUPTION
AMOK
I seems abundantly clear to me that all
of the rhetoric about "big, bad government" has revealed the cruel
realities of unfettered corporate greed. Now those who badmouth "government"
and simultaneously espouse the "beauty of uncontrolled corporate power"
— e.g.: Enron, Halliburton, Harken Energy, WorldCom, etc., etc.
— are saying that the Sarbanes (D-Md.) bill now has corporate
corruption under control and all is well.
Our president select, having initially opposed the
Sarbanes legislation, now hops on the bandwagon, and, mopping his
brow, says let's get on with corporate domination of our political,
economic and cultural image.
In fact, the Sarbanes bill only gets to the tip of
the iceberg. The bill, passed by a nearly unanimous vote, was signed
into law by a president whose wheeling and dealing with his Harken
investments is quietly shoved under the table.
Government is indeed needed just to keep us common,
everyday folks from getting shunted off to the poorhouse and the graveyard
by the power-hungry worshippers of unfettered corporate power. Now,
if only our government could become democratic (with a small "d"),
with the People electing our representatives and leaders rather than
by the domination of corporate millions.
Karl G. Sorg
Eugene
LETTERS POLICY: We welcome letters on all topics
and will print as many as space allows. Please limit length to 250 words,
keep submissions to once a month, and include your address and phone
number. E-mail to editor@eugeneweekly.com,
fax to 484-4044, or mail to 1251 Lincoln, Eugene 97401.
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